I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
