I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
