I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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