I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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