well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
