So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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