No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
