you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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