didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
