Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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