I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
