just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
