I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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