i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
