i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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