living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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