Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just want nice things and good sex
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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