And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
