We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
