can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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