6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Randomize
