Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
