he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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