Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
