I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
