I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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