I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
