Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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