pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
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