Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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