i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
