it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
