Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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