Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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