I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
