Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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