If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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