The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
