it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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