what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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