# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
