Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
