38 yer olds are good kisserssss
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize