I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
