the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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