if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
