guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
