zippers are such a cool invention
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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