Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There r osticjed everywhere
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
