dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
