hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize