He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
