she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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