im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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