well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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