i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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