so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
