i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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