He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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