K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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