If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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